I was doing everything right.
We had more business than ever, I was doing my best, coming to work even when I was a little sick, telling myself that complaining just makes things worse. I was less sick than the year before. It is good to work, to have the responsibility, to be accountable to my colleagues. They would also work with headaches, fever, sore throat, and who knows what else. So if I thought about staying at home for feeling nauseous, I would also end up feeling guilty. The lesson was, work even when nauseous; work as long as I can stand on my feet.
4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
11 So the Lord said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. 12 Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son..."
1 Kings 11:4, 11-12
I read this part as my Bible study one morning during my sick leave. I picked up what at first seemed like a cold, which in a few days developed into bronchitis. I had to stay at home the whole week (!!!), and it was a good thing that I had vacation after that, otherwise I'd be officially sick even longer.
But, here I was, with a whole day on my hands, the first thing (or one of the first things) was that I had longer time With God. I also noticed that that week was the first after a while when I'd had regular Bible study. My prayer life was there, but I had lost connection to the Word.
So, I went back to my study of the splitting of the Kingdom. This was THE point in time when God decided it had been enough of Solomon's lunacy. His numerous wives - whose number was not even that big of a deal - had led him away from the one true God. Solomon took on other priorities, although he began his reign with splendor of God's wisdom. God fulfilled His promises, Solomon strayed from his. Then God did what had to happen: He took the kingdom away from the king. Well, from his son, but don't think Solomon took it lightly. He later tried to kill the young man, Jeroboam, who was promised to become the king of the northern ten tribes, but he escaped to Egypt.
First thing after Solomon's death, his son makes a bad political move, which leads to the rebellion of the Northern tribes, and they indeed crown Jeroboam the king. God keeps his promise to David - his descendants are still kings.. But with the painful knowledge that ten tribes have a kingdom of their own.
And there I was, with more time in the Word, readying about consequences of Solomon's idolatry. Then it hits me: that's the name of the sin; this is what I did. OK, I don't have 700 wives, nor do I want to have one, but I did let people that I respect and care about lead me away from God's standard. The tension in my friendships was growing. I also noticed how my shifts more and more overlapped with church meetings. And then it took toll on my health. It took insight from a dear friend (thank you!!) to bring my attention to the dynamics of the situation.
Hopefully, I have learned something from the bad example of the wisest man on Earth. It has been days since my realization, and I am still processing all the ways how it affects my attitude and decisions.
It's trickier than it seems, to keep to God's guidance in the midst of all the voices. I believe that recognizing God's voice is again the question of training and the habit of bringing Him into the situations. But God believes it is doable. =)
So let's do it before God starts taking things away.
Do you go to work/ school/ appointments/ ... with the attitude of bringing God's perspective into the situation?
What does it take for it to happen?
Do you really want God with you all the time?
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