Things have been happening and I am a sinner and one of my weaknesses is lack of discipline. Therefore I haven't reported on the cool things that have happened, but I want to do so now, just to praise our faithful heavenly Father.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Mt 6:33
On the day 1, I decided to meditate on what that means. I figured it's a fail-safe idea, and it is seeking. I was really happy with my decision, and still am.
On day 2, I was considering how I can be more of a light at work, and shine God's love to my colleagues. I honestly like them - as personalities and as coworkers - and sometimes when I feel left out of private jokes, it hurts me with unexpected depth. The only thing I could come up with, is to be loving and keep being myself (making jokes, talking,...) as if I never got that unpleasant feeling. Every once in a while, this feeling turns out to be wrong anyway. I wasn't completely satisfied with the answer to my situation, but it is difficult to seek God's Kingdom where most people don't believe in Him. So I take this attitude with me every day I go to work. Nothing dramatic happened at work that Friday.
Late afternoon, my boyfriend picked me up for dinner. Let me just share at this point that we have a history of a difficult relationship, which ended in October last year. I am still deeply convinced that it was a good thing. However, after a few months of God's work on our hearts, we started seeing each other again in late February (?... Early March?), and this new relationship had very little in common with the one that had to go. I was happy. I still am.
We had a picnic on a beautiful Spring day, and in this fantastic river side scenery, Stephan asked me to marry him. I said yes.
Now, you may argue that attempting to seek God at work is not at all related to getting engaged, but I believe that God was faithful. He doesn't need me to be perfect. He said in the passage quoted above that if I seek Kingdom, everything else will be given to me. And it is exactly what happened. And there was evening, and there was morning - second day.
Day 4 was a Sunday. It made me think of this years little New Year's Eve celebration with a few of the most extraordinary women I know. At dinner, we shared our "plans" for 2014. Hongshi said she will be baptized. Anna said she will be baptized too. I said I will get married. Now, Hongshi and Anna were studying the Bible, but I had just broken up a relationship. The girls gave me a confused look and asked: "Who will you marry?!" I said, Stephan.
On this specific Sunday in May, after the worship service, we took a ride to Köln, to witness a dear, and very strong woman, a determined student of the Bible, give her heart to Jesus and be baptized. Her name is Anna.
Hongshi is already our sister, since early April.
I have to admit that I had lost the focus on my study target, but I keep going. I have been in a whirl of new feelings and ideas since engagement, and I'm slowly getting my foothold back. With everything there is to do, it will be a very good idea to seek God first.
Last few days I have been thinking about this one:
“The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, 21 nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.”
Lk 17:20-21
Let's see what happens.
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