Seek First - Seek Always

Alright, so my 40 days of Sermon on the mount are finished. And it wasn't a daily thing and from technical angle, I failed. Some may say that I also failed from the spiritual perspective. I didn't read every day and as the days went by, I also read less often. At many points I also failed to seek the Kingdom and righteousness first, so life threw me out of my groove a couple of times.

But knowing God, my challenge is a success. He saw me make all my mistakes, actually one mistake over and over: not seeking Him first. - And He also saw how I kept coming back, trying to do better. Of course, it was in vain, because it was on my own strength and it's difficult to stop the car that's rolling already halfway down the hill. But it finally crashed - it's not even a big mess! - and I have a day off to take two steps back and analyze the situation.

Had I stuck with it, reading every day from the chapters 5, 6 and 7 in Matthew's gospel, ... wow, that would have been great! Admit it, it was a fantastic idea! The sermon is powerful!
But let's see, the wobble in my focus started after I got engaged. ...Hmm...

Here is what I really believe about putting God first.
It has to become a habit is boring. Or normal, if your life is never boring. OK, normal is also difficult to define. My friend once said that one should get the driver's license before it is needed; when you need it it's already too late. It's the same with relationship with God. We need to build the "God first" life when there is no other things that could compete - career, romantic relationship, trip, something shiny, whatever you consider big and cool. You know that one thing that creeps in over and over, "...If I only had that... then I would...". SO far from God's plan. He wants us to be truly, deeply, madly in love and happy with Him, so much that everything else is details. He wants our happiness to depend on His presence, not His blessings. Can you even imagine that kind of life? Or are you afraid that this perpetual joy would water out the cool things that happen?

We rely too much on the desert. Somewhere in the back of our mind is the concept that God would bring us into the desert to have our attention on Him. And He will. But that is a broken car that needs servicing and maybe a replacement. God wants us to prevent the car from ever crashing - in other words, He doesn't want us to find ourselves in the desert time and time again. He wants us to live in the spiritual oasis, nurtured by His love.

I truly believe there is a way to live in full awareness of God's presence. In the bliss of knowing that all is done, that the game knows how to play itself, that God has ALREADY PROVIDED. Can you imagine that peace? Are you afraid that this kind of life would be boring?

To prove that this is not just my wishful thinking:

From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. ²⁷ God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ²⁸ ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.

Acts 17:26-28

God wants us to find Him. He really wants to be with us. He lets life happen to the good, the bad and the ugly, and we can face it in the desert, or, perhaps, in an oasis. God Himself has given us this choice.